Hollywood’s War on Dwarves

You may have heard something about a remake of Time Bandits and thought “that sounds like a bade idea.” An even worse idea? Making it without dwarves*.

  • “Yet another Hollywood reboot that seems to be kicking actors with dwarfism to the curb. So why does Hollywood hate people with dwarfism?”
  • “I mean, if you were a ginger person with dwarfism, then you’d really be fucked.”
  • Time Bandits is getting a reboot, uh, continuation, reimagining, whatever on Apple TV+ and this is the cast.” Not a dwarf in sight.
  • “Actors with dwarfism who are like, hey, it’s hard enough to get roles right now, so why you keep replacing us with CGI creatures? Hugh Grant was an Oompa Loompa.”
  • “In their quest to not be offensive, they’re actually making sure that some people are not getting work.”
  • The same thing happened with Disney’s live-action Snow White before Disney did a 180.
  • No one (or at least no one rational) was offended when Terry Gilliam used actual dwarves in the original.
  • “Paradoxically fantasy films such as Time Bandits have often been the one genre in which filmmakers have liberated actors with dwarfism to be fully human.”
  • “Every character now has to be a black lesbian, because that’s this year’s flavor.”
  • The Willow reboot was such a massive failure they purged it from Disney+.
  • I’m far from a fanatic that actor X must share characteristic Y with the person they’re portraying, but when it comes to dwarves in films about dwarves, come on. Plus it’s cheaper, better and more convincing that CGI. Also, I’m pretty sure that every dwarf/midget/little person in Hollywood save Peter Dinklage needs the work more than Lisa Kudrow…


    *I know my spellchecker wants me to spell it “dwarfs.” I’m going with Tolkien and D&D on this one.

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    12 Responses to “Hollywood’s War on Dwarves”

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    2. D Liddle says:

      They’re doing this on purpose. Erasure and uglification of cultural properties is a humiliation ritual.

    3. DaveBigboote says:

      IIRC, “dwarves” is a noun, and “dwarfs” is a verb.

    4. I know my spellchecker wants me to spell it “dwarfs.” I’m going with Tolkien and D&D on this one.

      The proper plural is only “dwarfs” if they’re from the Dwarfs region of France. Otherwise, it’s “sparkling shorties”.

    5. […] HEADLINES: Hollywood’s War on Dwarves. “You may have heard something about a remake of Time Bandits and thought ‘that sounds […]

    6. That Guy says:

      Time Bandits is on my list of movies that absolutely should NOT be remade or meddled with in any way, as it’s perfection, the same goes for Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, which they royally screwed up.

    7. Kirk says:

      Peter Dinklage is exactly the reason that this is happening:

      https://movieweb.com/dwarf-actors-peter-dinklage-refute-comments/

      That asshole single-handedly slaughtered any possible roles for “little people” going forward, all out of a mistaken sense of “offense” at the reality of things. There are reasons that the community of “little people” actors would like to lynch his stupid ass, and it’s got a lot to do with how he’s effectively pulled the ladder up after himself; there won’t be any future “breakout” dwarf actors like him, mostly because there won’t be any future dwarf actors, period.

      Never, ever trust a liberal “advocate”. They’re all delusional, and all of them lie with everything they say. There’s no way Dinklage didn’t know or couldn’t predict what the hell was going to come out of his little privileged rantings…

    8. JohnS says:

      Tolkien did consider ‘dwarrows’ but didn’t like it.

      If that were a pattern, the singular of ‘wheelbarrows’ would be ‘wheelbarf’.

    9. Wray Johnson says:

      Time Bandits is one of my all-time favorite movies and I made my kids watch it. I think it was one of Sean Connery’s best performances and no, I was not offended by the use of dwarves (Tolkien spelling). They made the film . They were very good actor. The reboot will not be on my list to watch. Wokeism kills everything. Sad.

    10. Joe Redfield says:

      I suppose there is now a new plural for ‘kinfe’.

    11. JorgXMcKie says:

      Did Dinklage stamp his little feet, too?

    12. Earth Pig says:

      Why is a remake even necessary?

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