From The Blaze comes word that Louis Farrakhan has integrated Scientology teachings into the Nation of Islam.
I’ll just wait a minute for that to sink in.
It’s a real challenge to say which has the wackier theology (links in headers, which annoyingly still show up in black):
Scientology
75 million years ago, galactic Overlord Xenu sent hundred of billions of people to Earth in spaceships shaped like rocket-powered DC-8s where they were blown up in volcanoes with H-bombs.
Then Xenu hypnotized the souls (thetans) in soul cinemas brainwashing them with religious theology.
Now all the brainwashed soul-thetans are hanging around in clumps of thousands to real bodies.
If you pay Scientology lots of money, they can remove these thetans from your body using a galvanometer.
(Or, if you prefer a visual recap, you can go to about 11:30 into this South Park episode.)
Oh, and they also keep people captives against their will as part of their “Sea Org,” and view anyone leaving Scientology as a traitor for whom it’s “fair game” to stalk and harass. And they sue people at the drop of a hat.
Founder Wallace Fard Muhammad is the Mahdi (the messiah of Islamic eschatology).
Fard (who disappeared in 1934) is alive in Mecca today.
White people are devils created by the evil scientist Yakub 6,000 years ago in Greece.
God launched a giant spaceship from Japan in 1929.
Nation of Islam leader Elijah Muhammad believed in segregation, negotiated with the Klu Klux Klan to buy farm land in the South, and was praised by American National Socialist Party leader George Lincoln Rockwell as “the Hitler of the black man.”
Elijah Muhammad didn’t die in 1975, but is alive on the spaceship now.
UFOs are smaller ships from the giant spaceship, and carry out God’s plans (and also carry bombs).
And that pretty much only scratches the surface of the crazy. I think I have to give the edge to Scientology for outright lunacy, but both are worthy contenders. And you can see the beginnings of compatibility from the space brothers angle. Not to mention the whole “both are completely bugfark insane” thing.
As for what the team-up may mean politically: Who knows? But you might want to have some popcorn ready…
Tags: Church of Scientology, cults, Louis Farrakhan, Nation of Islam
This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 10th, 2012 at 9:25 PM and is filed under Democrats, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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Now if they could strike a deal with Mormonism, they’d have a trifecta of the absurd (South Park also did an expose’ on the book of Mormon).