Iowahawk Held Hostage: Day 175

April 1st, 2013

175 days after it started, there’s still no resolution to the Iowahawk hostage crises, with the web pundit still held in captivity by the leftwing Al-Bama Dignity Brigade terrorist group.

“No more shall the infidel insult our prophet (peace be upon him) or make fun our sacred texts!”

Al-Bama has held Iowahawk captive “somewhere in the greater Des Moines area” since October 9, 2012, when a daring midnight raid snatched him from his fortified garage compound. Since then nothing has been heard from the beloved pundit except occasional tweets and pictures of hot rods.

The terrorist group has repeatedly threatened to kill the pundit, sending various media outlets severed piston rods from a 1931 Ford Model A to prove their seriousness.

Police promises to find the pundit (“Yeah, we’ll get right on that,” said a spokesman who asked not to be identified or disturbed while the NCAA basketball tournament was on) have thus far been fruitless.

Al-Bama’s initial demands were for the immediate imposition of comprehensive gun control, universal socialized medicine, $10 million in ransom, and the public flogging of radio personality Rush Limbaugh. When these demands were not met, Al-Bama gradually reduced them. Their most recent demands were for $325, a public apology from Bill O’Riley “for living,” and 12 cases of Olde Main beer.

Those with information on Iowahawk’s current whereabouts are urged to contact the National Bloggers Club.

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Posted in Crime | 1 Comment »

North Korea Threatens to Nuke Austin

March 29th, 2013

So North Korea is kicking its Crazy Invalid act up a notch with Kim Jong-Un threatening to attack the United States.

Which part of the U.S., you asking?

Would you believe Austin?

Dude, we’re all pissed off about the bag ban and the high cost of SXSW badges, but that’s a major overreaction.

Here, apropos of nothing in particular, is a video about the B-52:

And here, also apropos of nothing in particular, is a video of a B-2 hitting targets with 80 500 pound JDAM bombs.

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Posted in Austin, Foreign Policy, Military, video | 1 Comment »

Larry Gonzalez Goes Hunting Gun Manufacturers

March 28th, 2013

Texas House District 52 Representative Larry Gonzalez announced today that he’s inviting gun manufacturers from around the country to relocate to his district.

“Recently, you received correspondence from our Texas Governor, Rick Perry, inviting you to consider moving your company to Texas – a pro-gun, pro-2nd amendment, pro-business, right to work state,” says the opening line of the letter. The letter continues, “Texas has created an economic infrastructure which allows business to thrive. We understand government’s role is to get out of the way of private business and allow them to do what they do best – create jobs and help build our economy.”

“My pitch was specifically for the cities within House District 52,” said Gonzales. “I feel many variables make the cities of Round Rock, Hutto and Taylor very attractive places to locate a company. Chief among them is our roadway infrastructure. Our mobility is the envy of this state.”

You might remember that I’ve suggested something of the sort before at the state level…

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Posted in Guns, Texas | No Comments »

Bloomberg Fails to Learn From History (Again)

March 27th, 2013

Nurse Bloomberg proposes the Mafia Fulltime Employment Through Cigarette Smuggling Act (though I think he’s offering it up under another name) to raise the price of cigarettes to $10.50 a pack. (Hat tip: Dwight)

And how well is that likely to work? “New York currently holds the top position as the highest net importer of smuggled cigarettes in 2011, with smuggled cigarettes totaling a staggering 60.9 percent of the total market. Not coincidentally, New York also has the nation’s highest state cigarette tax.”

You would think even Nanny State advocates might have learned from the example of Prohibition, but obviously not. It’s like Bloomberg watched The Untouchables and went “Hey, Al Capone! I bet I can boost that guy’s profits through the roof!” That is, when the smuggling isn’t funding jihad.

If Bloomberg is successful in getting this enacted, cigarette vendors in New Jersey should send him a nice thank you basket…

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Posted in Crime | 2 Comments »

Mid-Day Cyprus Bailout Update for March 26, 2013

March 26th, 2013

News keeps on churning…

  • Your live Cyprus bailout tracker. Some tidbits: British ex-pats are pulling their funds from Mediterranean banks. Also, bank managers in Cyprus have been given EU documents specifying how much money they can allow people to withdraw, only the documents have €xx where it says how much they’re allowed to withdraw. (Or maybe they’re just using Roman numerals, and the amount is 20 euros…)
  • Switzerland: We’re not stopping any money flows from Cyprus
  • “Given what we know now we can safely say no European Bank, or Government issued debt is safe. It is time to flee any investments in the EU financial institutions, most of which are over loaded with the useless Government paper they were forced to buy to improve their capital ratio’s. If you have deposits in the EU, they are not safe from Government seizure, Greece, Italy, Spain, Portugal and Ireland are the front line risk, but the rest of Europe can not be considered secure. If you are a holder of any form of European Bank security, exit it fast. Many countries in Europe are on thin ice in terms of debt, and the ECB will not help.”
  • “No matter what the specific outcome from Cyprus over the weekend, Europe has now completely lost its ability to manage its debt crisis.”
  • What it’s like to live in a cash economy with no cash.
  • The Euro bailout Hall of Shame. So far…

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    Posted in Budget, Economics, Welfare State | No Comments »

    Lessons from the Cyprus Bailout

    March 26th, 2013

    So the Cyprus crises is “solved,” for values of “solved” that means “everyone but bankers and Eurocrats get screwed.”

  • “The message that stakeholders of all stripes can be coerced into helping a cash-strapped nation may make investors more skittish they’ll be targeted if Slovenia, Italy, Spain or even Greece again is next in line to need help. The risk is that bank runs and bond market selloffs become more likely the moment a country applies for a new rescue.” A funny definition of the word “helping.” Like “helping” a mugger holding a gun to your head.
  • And just in case you think I’m exagerating: Cyprus is seizing money from people at the border.
  • “Why would anybody keep more than €100,000 in a Greek or a Spanish or an Italian bank?…In short, the Dijsselbloem plan was a plan to bankrupt southern European banks and make southern European euros worth less than northern European euros. In case you were wondering, this is the farce stage of the euro tragedy.”
  • UKIP Leader: Get your money out of Spain while you have the chance:
  • “If we are seeing the limits of German willingness to support eurozone bailouts when the numbers don’t matter, what will happen when the numbers do matter very much?”
  • Legal Insurrection has a few more lessons.

    • The European cradle-to-grave welfare state is unsustainable. It’s only a matter of how many trillions will be destroyed before the world is willing to face that fact.

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    Posted in Budget, Economics, Welfare State | No Comments »

    Democratic Donor Marc Rosenthal Convicted

    March 25th, 2013

    From Holly Hansen comes word that Austin attorney and Democratic donor Marc Rosenthal was found guilty of 13 felony counts, including racketeering conspiracy, mail fraud and tampering with a proceeding.

    Holly did a great job looking at his state donations, but I wanted to take a gander at his national contributions as well.

    He gave $2,300 to Democratic Congressman Henry Cuellar in 2008, and another $2,000 in 2010. He also donated $2,000 to Democratic U.S. congressmen Crio Rodriguez in March of 2008 (presumably for the Democratic primary), and then another $2,300 (the maximum donation) in October.

    Going back further, Rosenthal donated:

  • $2,000 to John Edwards in 2003 (I know, a wealthy Democratic trial lawyer supporting a wealthy Democratic trial lawyer for President. Try to contain your shock.)
  • Three separate donations of $1,000 to John Kerry in 2004.
  • $1,000 to Richard Raymond in 2005 (I’m assuming the Texas State Representative for Laredo).
  • $1,000 to Lloyd Doggett in 2004.
  • And $1,000 to Al Gore in 1999.

    • Here in Texas, we tend to convict people for felony jury tampering, no matter how many Democrats they’ve donated to.

    I’m sure this fact has absolutely nothing to do with trial lawyer and big Democratic donor Steve Mostyn suddenly deciding to move most of his practice to New York City…

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    Posted in Austin, Crime, Democrats, Elections, Texas | No Comments »

    LinkSwarm for March 23, 2013

    March 22nd, 2013

    Another Friday roundup of random news:

  • Republicans offer bill to outlaw Cyprus-like bank account seizures.
  • What did Dianne Feinstein’s gun-grabbing “assault weapons” bill actually accomplish? “These efforts have driven some law-abiding Americans into the loving arms of the NRA.”
  • “In Harry Reid’s Senate there are more votes against Chuck Hagel than there are in favor of an assault weapons ban.”
  • “[Ted Cruz’s] infraction was asking the right question. What Cruz wanted to know was this: Why do liberals cherish the First and Fourth Amendments, but trash the one in between – the Second Amendment?”
  • Bill Maher wakes up and suddenly realizes he’s getting ripped off by California taxes.
  • Dwight has an update on the laughable, doomed boondoggle that is EarthQuest.
  • Surprise! The U.S. is now more hated in the Middle East than under Bush.
  • Iran exporting Chinese-made portable antiaircraft missiles to terrorists. I’m sure that will make the Middle East all the more stable.
  • ObamaCare is slowing hiring.
  • Tides Foundation vs. Koch giving, in graphical form.
  • The UK decides that they don’t need any stinking freedom of the press.
  • Germany abandons some of its green energy fantasies.
  • Louisiana judge rules that ex-felons can own guns. Some caveats: This is based on a newly passed, pro-gun amendment to the Louisiana Constitution, and Louisiana law (as opposed to the other 49 states) is based on the Napoleonic Code rather than English common law.
  • Don’t suspect a neighbor; report him!

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    Posted in Crime, Democrats, Foreign Policy, Guns, Jihad | No Comments »

    Quick Cyprus Update for March 21, 2013

    March 21st, 2013

    Cyprus crisis is a miniature version of the Greek crisis, and the Greek crisis is a miniature version of Europe’s crisis. The scale and details differ, but the underlying problem is mind-numbingly familiar: People spending too much of other people’s money with too little accountability. Cyprus bank bailouts are unsustainable in the same way that Greek government bailouts are unsustainable in the same way that the European cradle-to-grave welfare state is unsustainable.

    How could it have been avoided? The same way any of the multitudes of financial crises that have rocked Europe in last several years could have been avoided: Don’t spend money you don’t have. That solution is both blindingly obvious and completely unacceptable to the Eurocratic elite (as well as our own liberal ruling class). After all, the bloated welfare state is where they get theirs. Nothing can be allowed to come between the permanent ruling class and their perks. Nothing.

    Some current Cyprus news:

  • Four days left until the next end of the world.
  • Background on the Cyprus crisis.

    Once Greece hit the skids in 2010, it was inevitable that Cyprus would follow. Already by 2011 the government was effectively prevented from selling bonds by a junk credit rating. It resorted to a €2.5 billion ($3.2 billion) loan from the Russian government, due in 2016. The killer, though, was the pact reached in October 2011 to reduce the value of Greek government bonds by 70 percent. That produced a loss to the Cyprus banks of more than €4 billion—the same in proportion to the economy’s size as a $4 trillion loss in the U.S. President Demetris Christofias, seemingly not realizing the severity of the blow, agreed to the haircut without seeking offsetting aid for Cypriot banks. He eventually sought a bailout, but, befitting a left-wing politician who earned a doctorate in history in the Soviet Union, dragged his heels on cutting government spending while inveighing against the “troika” of the European Union, the European Central Bank, and the International Monetary Fund. Losses mounted.

  • Russia to Cyprus: Die in a fire.
  • Explaining the Cyprus crisis like you’re an idiot.
  • It’s Crazy Stan’s Discount State Assets Stand! Everything must go!

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    Posted in Budget, Economics, Welfare State | No Comments »

    Reminder: Blog Meetup/Tweetup Saturday, March 23, 6 PM, Mangia’s on Mesa

    March 21st, 2013

    Dwight of Whipped Cream Difficulties and I are having a conservative/gunner blogger meetup Saturday, March 23, at 6 PM, at

    Mangia Pizza
    8012 Mesa Dr., Austin, 78731
    302-5200

    Drop me a line at lawrenceperson at gmail dot com if you’re interested in attending and haven’t done so already.

    I’ll be the one in the black polo shirt and black cargo pants…

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    Posted in Austin | No Comments »

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