If you want to commit a comically inept but still dangerous robbery, here are a few easy pointers from this Valentine’s Day holdup in Inkster, Michigan:
Be sure to try and rob the place in broad daylight.
Pick a place that has an obvious security company car parked right in front.
Make sure not to conceal your own features, even though there’s a security camera at the door.
Pull out your gun and wave it around in a limp-wristed fashion, ensuring you’re more likely to hurt yourself than hit what you’re aiming at when you fire.
Have your partner in crime lackadaisically take several seconds to casually pull her own gun out of her purse. No hurry! It’s not like speed is important during a daylight armed robbery.
Pick a tax preparation business where the guard has an AR-15 in the next room.
Run back out the front door in a panic when you see it.
To make sure you’ve understood all these vital pointers, watch the video below. (15 second ad at the beginning, but well worth it.)
Fox 2 News Headlines
And liberals: The fact criminals seem to find the AR-15 every bit as scary as you do? That’s not a bug, that’s a feature.