Posts Tagged ‘Drew Dunn’

Comedian Drew Dunn On The Trump Assassination Attempt

Saturday, August 31st, 2024

Although this Drew Dunn video on the Trump assassination attempt isn’t the pure fire of Andrew Schulz’s bit on it, it’s still funny enough to post here.

  • “All the conspiracy theories come out around it, too. I don’t know what to believe. I do know is that if our government tried to do an assassination attempt, that’s kind of how it would look. It was very inefficient. That was the DMV of assassination attempts. That was not good. They had a very small budget.”
  • “You could tell they they wanted to do it with a grassy knoll at a parade like they were used. ‘We can’t swing, that we’ve got to do a tin roof at a town fair, that’s all we’ve got.'”
  • “‘Can’t get any ex-military people to take the shot. Let’s get the kid who came in last place on his marksman team.'”
  • “Dude, that was just one big government block of cheese.”
  • “I was hoping Trump was going to come out the same day, you’re still bleeding to do the press conference. ‘They tried to shoot me, they were too slow and I’m too fast. I dodged the bullet. I saw it coming from so far away, it was like the Matrix, it was all in slow motion. Call me Neo, I’m the chosen one.'”
  • “‘They say he was a republican, the shooter, but I’ll tell you right, now he shoots like a liberal. Not straight, so not straight.'”
  • “‘They said it was a fake bullet, that’s what they said. It was a real bullet. We found the bullets. Turns out the bullets, they were made in China, that’s where they were made. They were little teeny tiny Chinese bullets, so small, so tiny.'”