Lawrence Person's BattleSwarm Blog

(Something from the “Old News is So Exciting” category.)

It’s been a rough year for David Letterman.

Not only has his alma mater gone winless in football, but he had to testify before a grand jury about affairs he had with his own staff members after someone attempted to blackmail him.

(I know, I should mail this blog post back to October 1, when it was slightly fresher than bloated orange roughy.)

I used to watch Letterman fairly regularly in my misspent younger days. (I even watched his short-lived daytime show.) Then I got too busy to watch TV on a regular basis, much less late night TV. When I’ve tuned into his show in recent years, it seems like the “extra business” (will it float, angle-grinders, etc.) had swallowed the rest of the show whole; all bright and glossy and no soul.

However, despite being somewhat displeased over the whole Sarah Palin joke rumpus (which always struck me as more tone-deaf stupidity than actual malice), I’m going to offer Letterman a single cheer for his conduct in the matter. (And not just grading on the Roman Polanski “I had consensual sex with adults rather than drugging, raping and sodomizing a 13-year old” curve.)

When faced with embarrassing revelations about cheating on his wife, Letterman could have buckled under and paid the bribe money, or lied through his teeth. Instead he did the right thing and told the grand jury the truth. I know, telling the truth to a grand jury should be so commonplace as to be unworthy of praise in and of itself. However, compare that to how Bill Clinton perjured himself before a grand jury when required to give similar testimony on his sexual infidelity. Given that precedent, no doubt had Letterman perjured himself, I’m sure he would have no shortage of defenders alleging that it was “only sex.”

So, one cheer for David Letterman for coming clean, facing the music, and not committing a felony.

PS: Dave, you should bring back Chris Elliot as The Guy Under the Seats. It’s not like he’s he’s too busy…