Satan Calls Press Conference To Disassociate Self From Texas Democratic Party

July 3rd, 2013

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Austin, Texas: Today Satan, the Prince of Darkness and ruler of the infernal underworld, held a press conference on the Capitol steps to disassociate himself from the Texas Democratic Party.

“Last night, a bunch of pro-abortion supporters at the state capitol chanted ‘Hail Satan’,” said the Prince of Lies. “And, you know, all well and good. Any publicity is good publicity.”

“But I wanted to make one thing clear,” said the Angel of the Abyss. “In no way, shape or form am I, Hell, its many powers and principalities, or At His Satanic Majesty’s Request Industries Ltd., involved or associated with the Texas Democratic Party.”

“Sure, there’s a lot to like about the Texas Democratic Party,” said the Great Deceiver. “I’m totally down with the baby killing, I’m big on bankrupting future generations through deficit spending, I love breeding despair though intergenerational welfare dependency, and how could I oppose being soft on crime?”

“But, c’mon!” said the Son of the Morning Star. “I’m a man of wealth and taste! I’m hardly going to let myself be seen paling around with those pathetic clowns in the Texas Democratic Party!”

“If I were running the show, don’t you think I’d be able to get at least one Democrat elected statewide since 1994?” asked the Vile Tempter. “They used to own this state, but now these boobs couldn’t find their ass with both hands! I don’t want to be associated with that sort of incompetence.”

“If I’m going to come to Texas, I’m going to go to San Antonio to hang out with my heavy metal homies, because those dudes know how to party,” said The Great Serpent. “Plus I know a place that serves killer breakfast tacos.”

When asked if he was associated with the national Democratic Party, the Devil said “Wow, look at the time! I’ve got to wrap this up, I’m late for a beheading in the Sudan. But before I go, I just want to tell the reporters here that we’re always hiring good PR people for Hell, and we pay a lot better rates than MSNBC.”

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Live Updates From Egypt

July 3rd, 2013

If you want to follow what is likely to be Morsi and the Muslim Brotherhood’s last day in power, a few live update sources:

  • The BBC
  • Russia Today
  • ABC
  • Al Jazeera

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    Egyptian Military Confirms That Morsi Regime Is In Its “Last Hours”

    July 2nd, 2013

    On its Facebook page.

    In other news, the Egyptian military has a Facebook page…

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    Egypt Update for July 2, 2013

    July 2nd, 2013

    The lines are drawn, and the curses are cast. Both the people as a whole and the military have proclaimed that Morsi and the Muslim Brotherhood must step down. Morsi, in turn, has told them to get stuffed. I’m seeing more sources saying that police are coming over to the protester’s side. Without the military and the police, Morsi and the Muslim Brotherhood don’t stand a chance to stay in power, though they can still make forcing them out a very bloody affair.

    Other Egypt news:

  • The Egyptian army says that if it takes over, it will dissolve parliament and rewrite the constitution.
  • How Morsi and his fascist Muslim Brotherhood cronies managed to screw up so many things so quickly.
  • Sensing the tide, Egypt’s foreign minister is the latest rat to leave Morsi’s sinking ship.
  • Three government spokesmen have also left.
  • Mohamed ElBaradei is back as the consensus opposition figurehead.
  • Obama seems to be slowly shifting from being on the wrong side to ineffectually telling everyone to play nice.
  • A bit on Defense Minister Abdel Fattah al-Sisi.
  • An ABC report on the size of the June 30 crowds.
  • Rape gangs continue to attack female journalists.

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    Egypt Update for July 1, 2013

    July 1st, 2013

    The big Egypt news today, just in case you hadn’t seen it:

  • Widespread protests estimated at 17 million people have called for the ouster of Mohammed Morsi and his violent, corrupt, incompetent Muslim Brotherhood from power.
  • The Egyptian Military has given Morsi and the Muslim Brotherhood 48 hours to meet people’s demands or Eddie Murphy goes back to prison the military will step in and impose their own solution.
  • There have been scattered reporters that some police have gone over to the protesters’ side.
  • Protesters have burned and ransacked Muslim Brotherhood headquarters in Cairo.
  • The MSM seemed to largely ignore the story over the weekend and is now playing catchup.

    • Some links:

  • This point by point breakdown of the last three years isn’t awful.
  • Thanks to Obama’s bungling middle east policy, protesters now hate the U.S. more than ever. “We are very critical of the Obama administration because they have been supporting the Brotherhood like no one has ever supported them.”
  • When I read these sorts of Egypt is finally ready for Democracy pieces, I want to believe them, but I just don’t. I do believe the Egyptian people are ready to kick the Muslim Brotherhood to the curb, but I’m not yet convinced a majority there (or in any Arab nation) want a constitutional democracy and the rule of law.
  • Walter Russell Mead thinks that Egypt is just coming apart.
  • He, in turn, links to this New Yorker piece.

    In conversations with opposition politicians over the past six months, I have been struck by two things: their vehement hatred of the Brotherhood, and their inability to articulate solutions to the country’s problems. People speak in vague terms about social justice and democratic values. I have yet to meet a politician with a substantive plan to overhaul a system of food and fuel subsidies that eats up almost one third of the budget, or to reform the education sector, or to stimulate foreign investment….

    After two years of watching politicians on both sides of the fence squabble and prevaricate and fail to improve their lives, Egyptians appear to be rejecting representative democracy, without having had much of a chance to participate in it. In a country with an increasingly repressive regime and no democratic culture to draw on, protest has become an end in itself—more satisfying than the hard work of governance, organizing, and negotiation. This is politics as emotional catharsis, a way to register rage and frustration without getting involved in the system.

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    Super Brief Post on Egypt

    June 30th, 2013

    I don’t know what’s really going on in Egypt beyond the largest protests in the history of the world.

    Your basic protest in the middle east doesn’t mean jack compared to guys with guns. But protests this massive change the scale of things. Mohammed Morsi isn’t popular with the army, which he hasn’t yet succeeded in Islamicizing. Protests this big are essentially giving the army the green light to take Morsi out.

    Protestors have set fire to Muslim brotherhood headquarters, albeit incompetently, if this video is any judge.

    Aim for the windows with the Molotovs, people, not the facade!

    In addition to be an Islamist scumbag, Morsi has been a manifestly incompetent, nakedly-power-grabbing authoritarian. A lot of protestors are probably opposing the Muslim Brotherhood’s incompetence at governing rather than islamism per se. Michael Totten has noted that liberals (in the classical, Democratic sense) are a distinct minority in Egypt.

    Oh, and all that “smart diplomacy” and speech-making from Obama? Thanks to his backing Morsi (with our tax dollars), Egyptians now hate us more than ever.

    With demonstrations this massive, there are only three possible endgames in Egypt:

    1. Morsi steps down
    2. The army removes Morsi
    3. Civil war

    Possibility #1 is unlikely, and Possibility #3 would likely be a bloodbath to make the Syrian Civil War pale in comparison.

    So let’s hope Possibility #2 prevails. But I have no idea how likely that is…

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    LinkSwarm for June 28, 2013

    June 28th, 2013

    It’s supposed to hit a 106° in Austin today. Sadly, not all of these links will help you keep your cool…

  • 12 different IRS offices targeted conservatives.
  • Over 1,100 patients were starved to death at NHS hospitals in the UK. Funny, I don’t remember that being mentioned in the Olympic tribute to how awesome NHS is…
  • Marco Rubio aide: We need illegal alien amnesty because American workers suck.
  • Blue collar Americans having trouble finding jobs. I’m sure that has nothing to do with our ruling political elite’s decision to allow unlimited illegal immigration of unskilled workers…
  • Every Republican voting for amnesty better get ready for a primary challenge.
  • Obama camapign workers convicted of voter fraud in Indiana. This was for the 2008 Democratic primary, so it will likely be many years before see starting seeing convictions for the Obama campaign’s various 2012 voting fraud efforts…
  • Noam Chomsky attending the opening of Hezbollah’s “Death to Israel” theme park.
  • People told me that if I voted for Romney, the U.S. military would start blocking access to liberal news sources. And they were right!
  • The Atlantic says that Obama “succeeded” in Libya but is failing in Syria. If Benghazi was success, I’d hate to see what failure looks like.
  • And speaking of Benghazi, Libya just let one of the suspected attackers walk. Thank God we have Obama’s smart, sophisticated diplomacy in the Middle East…
  • Beer now unaffordable in Greece. And you thought they had riots before…
  • Second Colorado Democrat faces a recall election over gun control.
  • Magpul to give away 1,500 30-round magazines just two days before Colorado outlaws them.
  • By the way, there’s a Facebook page to show support for bringing Magpul to Texas. But most of the rumors I hear have them moving to Wyoming.
  • The Amarillo Globe-News has a message for gun manufacturers thinking of relocating to Texas: Come on down!
  • Texas executes its 500th murderer. Don’t mess with Texas. Or we will end you.
  • Speaking of ending you: Don’t try to commit armed robbery in a concealed carry state.
  • Nurse Bloomberg continues to underwrite anti-gun ads, shoot himself in the foot. (Hat tip: Alphecca.
  • In order to prove vegans aren’t a creepy cult, website seeks to out and harass lapsed vegans.
  • The Onion channels Jay Carney: “Well, Time To Go Out In Front Of A Bunch Of People And Lie To Them.”
  • The mystery of Lori Ruff, AKA Becky Sue Turner. No one know who she actually is…

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    Posted in Austin, Border Control, Crime, Democrats, Elections, Guns, Jihad, Obama Scandals | No Comments »

    Texas vs. California Update for June 27, 2013

    June 27th, 2013

    Time for another update of just how hard Texas is kicking California’s ass:

  • Chuck DeVore has the skinny on California’s recent “growth:”

    The BEA revised California’s real GDP growth downward from 2009 to 2011 in each of three years by a cumulative 2.6 percent, the third-largest negative revision in the nation.

    In other words, California’s economy shrank an additional 2.6 percent before it grew 3.5 percent.

    So, in the past five years California’s real GDP contracted 0.3 percent, one of ten states where economic activity was less in 2012 than it was in 2008.

    By contrast, the BEA revised Texas’ growth upward by 0.5 percent from 2009 to 2011.

    Texas’ newly revised real GDP growth from 2009 to 2012 was 13 percent.

    From 2009 to 2012, California’s share of the U.S. economy shrank from 13.1 percent to 12.9 percent while Texas’ portion of the American economy increased from 8.2 percent to 9 percent.

  • Walter Russell Mead joins in:

    What should be the Federer vs. Nadal of state-level competition has become a lopsided trouncing: Texas has humiliated its opponent in straight sets. The federal Bureau of Economic Analysis is out with its state-by-state economic growth numbers for 2012, and Texas is dancing the two-step all over California’s “recovery.”

  • “Texas and California provide real-world results from the so-called laboratory of democracy — the states. The results aren’t even close. Texas wins and has been winning for years. California, champion of the big government blue state model, is in a death spiral. Texas, champion of the small government red state model, continues to grow and lead the way.”
  • California Democrats lose their supermajority, so they have to get one last “screw you” tax hike in.
  • California’s legislature has the highest salary in the country. (By contrast, Texas legislators make $600 per month, plus a per diem that’s currently $139 for every day the Legislature is in session.)
  • The Nanny State wants to regulate nannies. “Yo dawg, I heard you liked nanny states, so I put the nanny state in charge of your nannies so the nanny state nannies can nanny nannies.”
  • Billionaire Texas Democrat seeks to reform California pensions. Might want to pop some popcorn for this one. (Arnold does indeed give primarily to Democrats, but recently he’s also made contributions to Ted Cruz ($2400 in 2011), Tom Coburn and the RNC, plus a relatively paltry $200 donation to John McCain in 2010.)
  • Remember: If you’re going to kill somebody, it’s far better to do it in California than Texas. “At the pace the state has executed inmates over the last 35 years – roughly one execution every three years – it would take the state about 2,000 years to clear its backlog.” Why is why rail-traveling serial killer Angel Maturino Resendiz was executed after 7 years in a Texas prison, but “Night Stalker” Richard Ramirez spent 23 years living at the expense of California taxpayers before dying of natural causes.
  • California city of Atwater avoids bankruptcy by the skin of its teeth. Naturally, public employee unions are saying that now is the time to get raises…
  • Speaking of unions, even they are having problems with ObamaCare.
  • United Farm Workers picket United Farm Workers. No, that’s not a typo.

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    The Liberal Myth of Equal IRS Scrutiny

    June 27th, 2013

    If you have liberal friends on Facebook or Twitter, you’ve probably seen links to this Salon piece claiming that the whole IRS scandal is a “fiction” because the IRS targeted liberal groups just as much.

    There’s only one tiny, eensy weensy problem with this theory: It isn’t true.

    Obama’s Treasury Department itself now admits liberal groups weren’t targeted like conservatives were.

    A total of 6 “progressive” groups received any level of scrutiny at all. Number of Tea party groups? 292. “Our audit found that 100 percent of the tax-exempt applications with Tea Party, Patriots, or 9/12 in their names were processed as potential political cases during the timeframe of our audit.”

    (Hat tip: Ace of Spades.)

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    What China Needs: Stronger Knife Control Laws

    June 27th, 2013

    36 killed after knife gang attacks China police station.

    But don’t worry: If a knife gang attacks your average Chinese citizens in their home or apartment, they don’t need a gun, they can just call the pol—

    Oh, right.

    Also, when armed gangs attack a police station, it’s not a “riot,” it’s something closer to an insurrection. Or Assault on Precinct 13, Chinese-style.

    If confirmed, it would be one of the bloodiest incidents in Xinjiang since nearly 200 people were killed in the regional capital, Urumqi, in 2009.

    The region, which borders Afghanistan and Pakistan, has been the scene of numerous violent incidents in recent years amid tensions between the large population of Muslim Uighurs and the ruling Han ethnic group.

    You know, if 200 people were killed in an American city at one time, we’d never hear the end of. The mere fact that such things keep happening suggests that China has a much weaker grip on its hinterlands than the media usually suggests.

    (Schtick hat tip: Dwight.)

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